Her take: “I went out with a guy I met online who seemed really sweet and charming. A few days later, he texts me to say that he isn't looking for a girlfriend—just casual sex.I felt cheated and hurt.” -Andrea C., 31Expert take: Even if a guy doesn’t say straight out in his profile that he’s only looking for hook-ups, some will offer hints.It’s also easy to build up a fantasy of what someone is like when you’re long distance.
I took the hint and drifted off, figuring he just wasn't ready to commit.You’re left wondering what went wrong and analyzing (and reanalyzing and reanalyzing) things with your friends. While we’ll never be able to fully understand guys (and we probably wouldn’t want to), you can learn from these moments.We found 10 women in your situation and asked experts to give their insights on what happened so you can dodge future dating disasters.“The more there’s courtship and the guy is pursuing a woman he’s interested in, the more powerful the reward is of actually being with that person is.If a guy gets everything up front, it’s quite possible his interest and that reward mechanism aren’t going to kick into gear,” Kerner explains.
If the date feels like a hook-up, that’s probably what he’s seeking.