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For all of you that have already checked the cell phone, and that stumbled upon some suspicious text messages or phone calls, I gently say to you wake up. Figure out what’s really going on, and if that twisting feeling won’t go away do not ignore it. I’m not saying to approach your partner with boxing gloves on, ready to fight. As someone that’s lived through this scenario, I’ll start out by saying that you’re missing the point. Perhaps your girlfriend suddenly added a password to her phone.Perhaps she’s been spending time with friends more often, or is being secretive and vague when you ask her questions. Your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, your eyes laser beam over to her cell phone, and before you know it, you’re scrolling through her text messages, looking for a reason you feel a knife twisting in your gut every time she says she’s going out with friends.After one date he decided not to see you again and started stringing you along. Is that the kind of guy you want to open your heart to? All of it still applies and I stand by what I have written.

But, let me warn you, ignoring him may cause his interest in you to increase. That’s why I advise my dating coaching clients not to text, email or call a man the day after a first date. Instead, thank him on the date and tell him you had a good time.

But I am saying that if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck: It’s probably a duck.

If you’ve checked the phone and there’s nothing there, this is still your issue.

So for all of you considering checking your partner’s phone that haven’t yet pulled the trigger: Don’t do it.

Stop trying to control the situation and start taking responsibility for what you can control: YOU.

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I just got this email from a woman who is confused by the mixed signals she’s getting from a guy she had one date with. At the weekend he texted me after 6pm on Saturday and said he was with a friend, but wished he knew I was free.

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