Being told “You’re too intimidating” is incredibly aggravating to women.After all, women are encouraged to be assertive, accomplished and independent; being told that they’re “intimidating” sounds like they’re being told to take all of that back and pretend to be something less than what they are. Are geek guys finding a woman’s accomplishments to be somehow threatening? Because “intimidating” is so subject to personal interpretation, I thought it was best to go to the source: geek guys. She’s well educated, with a rapier wit and a willingness to use it. And yet, Friday still remains the most lonely night of the week when she sees all of the happy, laughing couples making plans, having romantic dinners and enjoying the sex while she’s at home with Fringe on the DVR and a bottle of Malbec breathing in the kitchen. Well, whenever she’s interested in a guy – a guy who’s worth her time, because what’s the point of having standards if she’s not going to stick to ‘em? She’s done it all; dating sites, meeting guys at cons, the comic store, chatting up friends from class and at work.If he doesn’t have the self-esteem or confidence to get past the power differential – and beauty looking for someone better.Geek culture has a way of blurring the traditional lines of gender roles.Others were late bloomers or women who have had few female role models in their lives.Some women are just naturally more outgoing and rowdy; the loud group of party girls are a regular feature of many parties, bars, and club scenes.
The Youtuber and comedian Tanya Hennessy took matters of unrealistic makeup routines into her own hands when she made her refreshing tutorial that highlights (pun intended) what doing makeup feels like when you’re hurried and not a professional.
If a woman keeps hearing from men that she’s “intimidating”, what is she supposed to do – besides start approaching men who have more self-confidence and fewer issues?
She’s geeky to her Joss-Whedon-loving core, a Whovian, Vertigo-reading, 3rd edition D&D (none of that 4th ed crap thank you very much) gamer with the con stories to prove it. While it’s true that many men will use it as a polite dodge to avoid saying “I’m not attracted to you”, when it comes up over and over again, it’s a sign that maybe there’s more to it.
Many guys – especially introverts – can find this upsetting or discomforting.
He may feel as though he’s going to have to put on a performance in order to keep up with her.
This is not to say that incredibly beautiful women will only go for the model-handsome mind you – look at Christina Hendricks are the one making the first move, they may feel as though they will be in constant competition with other men: ones with better jobs, fatter wallets, movie-star smiles, and abs you could do laundry on.