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If I could only get myself to try the bisexual thing I would have been much happier in my relationships. I loved many of them but they were just not suitable for marriage.

Many of them were raised by women and had warped mentalities. When I moved to Miami, I accepted my status and dated men on my level.

Maybe, but I suspect another dynamic is at work: Women don't want to feel maternal about a lover, nor do they want to see themselves as a mother figure in a lover's eyes.

This aversion may have stopped some women cold who were hot for younger men.

Some may go as far as marriage to a black guy but they realize divorce is inevitable so they do not have children.

Or they have children with one and don’t marry in order to preserve their wealth and good credit.

Serena : Of course not but lets face it, if Oprah would date outside of her race she would be married with children now. You can only offer shelter and love and watch as our neighbor’s pitbull protects his home and family.

Pepper Schwartz is AARP's love and relationships ambassador.

Williams we are all interested in your new boyfriend. I stopped playing with boys when I stopped dating black guys. Interviewer – So you prefer to date white men instead of black guys? If you are a successful black female you only have two choices…outside of your race or date other successful black females.

But there's more than that to your new relationship, as you know, so you could do without the nudges and winks.

Many couples have conquered this barrier, remaining happily married, or committed, for decades.

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The state of most black men is so low the only thing you can do is love them. I, unlike Oprah, am not forced to stay within those boundaries. Interviewer – So Oprah is being forced to date Stedman?

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